I’m
irritated as I piece together this essay on Babe Paley,
because, try hard as I might, I am just not finding her as
interesting as other women who were considered style icons of
their time. Women like Diana Vreeland, Elsie De Wolfe, and
Coco Chanel were fascinating to me because of their unique
ability to transform the vulgarity of existence into a living
work of art on a daily basis and along the way still ensuring
that others in society were well aware of their opinions,
resourcefulness and inner struggles.
Oh don’t misunderstand. Babe Paley did have opinions, and
struggles, but like the image of perfection that she was, in
her cool, calm demeanor, with grace and thoughtfulness for
others, she rarely let it show. It appears only now that
while Babe was busy making everything perfect for everyone
else around her, husbands, friends, even society, she suffered
in a tomb of utter misery and silence until the end.
So, I guess I’m a little angry with her, (even though I
shouldn't be, because her choices were limited given her era
and upbringing) but I do acknowledge that she is fascinating
in her own way, and is no doubt a style icon, exhibiting
grace, style and beauty, which qualifies her for inclusion in
our segment on Legendary Women.
Babe Paley. The name evokes an image of a superbly stylish and
gracious goddess. A vision of perfection. A high priestess of
the social arts, beauty, fashion and entertaining.
Barbara Cushing Mortimer Paley was one of a member of a
loosely assembled group of four stylish and beautiful women
that Truman Copote referred to as his “swans”. The others
included Slim Keith, Gloria Guinness, and C.Z. Guest. Of all
four, Babe was the most exalted, and without a doubt, the most
beautiful.
Babe’s grooming, her “finishing school” if you like, began
when she was born. One of three sisters, (Babe being the most
beautiful and therefore the one that showed the most promise),
was the daughter of an eminent but not extraordinarily wealthy
Boston brain surgeon. Her socially ambitious mother was
determined to steer all three of her daughters into a
prominent life by marrying them off to wealthy and powerful
men.
Aside from her stunning looks, luminescent skin, superb bone
structure, dark eyes and swanlike neck, Babe developed a
unique ability to socialize with others. She had a keen and
lively interest in people and a manner that can only be
described as thoughtful and gracious. If her future was to be
an American Super Goddess, then Babe definitely had the right
stuff. In the glamorous era of the 1940’s Barbara Cushing
became the perfect marriage companion.
Her first marriage was to old money, waspish, blue blood
Stanley Mortimer. She married him while working as a fashion
editor for Vogue magazine in 1940. Babe’s mother was not
entirely content with the union preferring that Babe marry a
powerful and wealthy man with a title. However, at the time,
it did appear that this could be the “right” match.
With gentleness, dignity and poise, Babe took her place in New
York society as Mrs. Stanley Mortimer, adored by the fashion
press and named to the best-dressed list in 1945.
Unfortunately her marriage to Mortimer was short lived and
ended by 1946. At this time she was mother of two children,
living on limited funds but maintaining her place as a fashion
and style icon. She was named to the best-dressed list in 1946
because she had fortunately joined the ranks of women who were
given clothes by design houses in exchange for their high
profile and glamorous images.
Babe now set out to make a second high profile marriage but
this time avoided traditional blue blood names like Vanderbilt
and Phipps. The settlement she received from Mortimer was
based on a trust fund and barely provided her with enough
money for herself and her two children.
It was then that she met William Paley. Now here was a modern
American success story. Paley was a pioneer in radio and
television as the founder of CBS, phenomenally wealthy, with a
newly developed interest in the arts and a desire to be a part
of traditional New York café society. The only snag, was that
Paley, although rich and high profile was Jewish, new moneyed
and primarily self made. For William Paley, Babe was the
perfect match. With her connections, beauty and style he stood
a greater chance of being granted entrée into a society which
had barred him before. For Babe, Paley offered phenomenal
wealth, power and a kind of worldliness. They married in 1947.
Now, Babe set about with the
task she was born to cultivate, the creation of a picture
perfect social world. No one could criticize Babe’s talents or
presentations. The couple took an elegant apartment at the St.
Regis and Babe hired Billy Baldwin to help her redecorate. It
is here that she and Paley would live during the week, while
weekends were spent at their farm, Kiluna, a sprawling estate
on Long Island.
But even with Babe’s reputation and Paley’s incredible wealth
they could not seem to overcome that nasty little problem of
his “Jewish ness”. As a result they were excluded from a
number of important social functions and exclusive clubs.
None of this seemed to trouble Babe, however. She set about
creating her own exclusive social enclave, excluding all
powers that had excluded herself and her husband, choosing to
socialize with Paley’s high powered business associates,
celebrities and a select group of wealthy and successful
Europeans.
No one could entertain with the grace of Babe Paley. Guests
who were invited to join the exclusive "Paley" club were
treated with the luxuries only offered in the grandest of
hotels in Europe. Servants were bountiful; food was
spectacular, and the surroundings breathtaking. It is this
legendary entertaining that made the Paleys the most sought
after couple in New York.
In addition to this lavish entertaining, Babe maintained her
position on the best-dressed list fourteen times before being
inducted into the Fashion Hall of Fame in 1958. Her personal
style was inspirational to thousands of women who tried to
copy her, but as Bill Blass once observed, “I never saw her
not grab anyone’s attention, the hair, the makeup, the
crispness. You were never conscious of what she was wearing;
you noticed Babe and nothing else.”
But alas, the one man that she had tried so desperately to
please, her husband, William Paley, was the one man that she
could never seem to satisfy. Time and time again he pushed her
to greater and greater heights of perfection, in the way she
presented herself , their image as a couple, and their homes
to others. Of course Paley made sure, (for his own ego no
doubt), that Babe was wrapped in sable and completely
bejeweled at all times. His lavish gifts, however, were not
offered as tokens of affection but rather to demonstrate his
enormous wealth and power to business associates and
society. As a result Babe became a lonely and frustrated
woman. Early on in their marriage, Paley completely rejected
her sexually, choosing a chain of extramarital affairs and
extraordinary social ambitions. This psychological battering
took its toll on Babe and her family. She was constantly under
the scrutiny of society and the media who pressed her to
maintain the unrealistic image of a social and fashion
goddess. A combination of these external pressures,
infidelities on the part of her husband, and a two package a
day habit of smoking cigarettes finally wore her health and
spirit down. In 1974 she was diagnosed with lung cancer. It
was only then that Paley declared his love for her and tried
for the remaining four years of her life to save her. Too
late. She would not be saved. However, it was finally at this
time that she stood up for herself and released decades of
pent up anger at him. Bitter words ensued that represented the
loneliness and humiliation spent living as an unhappy Barbie
doll icon.
But Babe remained gracious to friends, family and society
even though she was ill, frustrated, and in a great deal of
pain. She planned her own funeral right down to the food and
wine selections that would be served at the funeral luncheon.
She very carefully allocated her precious jewels and personal
belongings to friends and family and even wrapped them up in
pretty and colorful paper along with a complete file system
with directions as to how they would be distributed after her
death.
Babe Paley finally succumbed to lung cancer in 1978. She
remains an icon in the world of fashion and style. An elegant
and gracious hostess, a leader in the world of fashion and
style. “ Babe Paley had only one fault,” commented her one
time good friend Truman Copote, “She was perfect. Otherwise,
she was perfect.”
